So we are almost at the end of February and the last two months have been the hardest two months to date. Its been tough but it has made me realise a lot about myself and also about others. People who you think were your friends, enjoy seeing you hurting and get off by having good old gossip behind your back. Also people who you didn’t realise were such good friends, sticking up for you and being there for you. I have no time for bored careless people who get enjoyment from your situation.
I have had to put training on a back step which I can say now, wasn’t the best idea. I never stopped, just cut down on training – lot. I have hated every moment, watching people train and seeing instagram posts on progress and what I’m missing out on and basically feeling sorry for myself. Training and racing makes me so happy and I’ve missed it so much. I need be stronger in myself, mind and body. I haven’t been thinking about myself and what I want, Ive thought about giving everything up, thinking that would be the easy option and what everyone wants, but it’s not what I want. So here I am, feeling more alone than ever and hating what I’ve become and trying to get myself out of a hole and back to where to were I was before, a happy Holly.
So as from yesterday I’m back on it, Im ready for some hard work and to get back on my game, I have races booked and can’t wait to race my first OCR race of the year on the 3rd March. I now need to work on myself and what I put in my body. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and do what I love. I will take the tough times as experience and hopefully it will just make me stronger and make me grow. So please stay tuned and see how 2018 will go… Im hoping many more adventures and experiences.